Are fixed opinions at the root of all quarrels?

By | February 20, 2018

Sometimes it amazes me when I observe how much influence fixed opinions can have on people. And I don’t exclude myself. I know I have fixed opinions just as everyone else does. We cannot function without. A fixed opinion is basically a belief that something is the way you think it is. All that you have learned and believe in is fixed within your mind. Not to be altered. This is needed in order to make use of it and operate on it in your environment.

Without fixation of thought we wouldn’t be able to retain data. Information gets fixed through intention, attention and emotion. We want to hold on to information that we feel is important to us. Thus we give it our attention. Attention generates the emotions that make information stick. Through repetition it becomes a part of the unconscious mind where it can be used for mental programming.

Intention is not always needed for mental programming. Attention and emotion will do and even these elements are not always needed. Children up to about the age of 7 have no intention nor ability to evaluate what comes in. That’s why child education is of paramount importance. It determines their future and thus the future of the human race.

But let’s stick to the influence of fixed opinions on people. It might not come as a surprise to you that fixed opinions can be quite annoying. You want to tell someone what you think about a certain topic and it seems as if you are talking to a brick wall. I am sure we all have experienced this many times over.

You might have realized that what you told the other collided with his or her thoughts on that particular subject. What you probably didn’t realize is that his or her thoughts about you or your ideas were fixed. For a quarrel to ensue you need to have your ideas fixed as well. You need opposing fixed opinions. But there is more. You also need two opposing forces colliding with each other.

I would like to give you a few axioms on this topic so we can explore this more deeply.

In case you don’t know, in logic an axiom is a proposition that is not susceptible of proof or disproof; its truth is assumed to be self-evident.

Axiom nr. 1

All human quarrels have fixed opinions at its roots.

Axiom nr. 2

All fixed opinions remain fixed through emotion.

Axiom nr.3

All fixed opinions can be destabilized or become unfixed through attention, decision, intention, emotion and repetition.

Let’s start with axiom nr. 1. Is it self-evident that all quarrels are caused by fixed opinions? Wait a minute, that is not what it states in the above axiom nr. 1.

It states it has fixed opinions at its roots. It doesn’t state that fixed opinions are the cause of all quarrels. How could an opinion cause anything? It is just an opinion. Fixed or unfixed, in itself it doesn’t do anything. It just sits there waiting to be used. If it is not opinions than what is it that causes all quarrels between humans?

As stated before, for a quarrel to occur there must be two opposing forces colliding with each other. So, what force are we talking about here? Is it emotion? Although emotion can have a lot of force to it in itself it is not causing quarrels among people.

Emotions have to be given some direction in order to collide with other emotions. Two opposing emotions are just two opposing emotions. They can become stronger or weaker but they, all by themselves, cannot be the reason for a quarrel. If it is not opposing fixed opinions or opposing emotions then what could it be? Is it a combination of these things?

The reason for all the quarrels that happen among people is opposing intentions backed up by fixed opinions. Intentions generate attention and attention generates emotion. So it really is a combination of several factors that make people quarrel.

  • Opposing fixed opinions
  • Opposing intentions
  • Attention and Emotion

Let us illustrate this with an example.

Joseph and Josephine have bought a new house. When decorating the interior they have to decide on many things. When it comes to the color of wallpaper Joseph wants his walls to be white. Josephine wants to have wallpaper with yellow colors as this combines better with the wood structures that are present in each room, so she thinks.

Here we have two opposing intentions. The force behind these intentions depends on how fixed their opinions are. If you strongly feel that you cannot live in a house with yellow wallpaper you will tend to quarrel until you get what you want.

Whether you succeed or lose in this battle depends not only on the fixedness of these opinions but also on with how much force they collide with each other. The forces involved here are in fact emotions. When fixed opinions have sufficient emotion that is directed with intention we can have collisions with epic proportion. It is the degree of fixedness that determines the potential of emotional power generated.

We can summarize all this with another axiom:

Axiom nr.4

All quarrels among people stem from fixed opinions that are defended or attacked with intention, attention and emotion.  

This seems to be a workable analysis for most of human suffering. Holding on to what you belief can be constructive, obstructive or destructive and all the gradients in between. But why would we hold onto an obstructive or destructive opinion? This would only be logical if obstructive or destructive beliefs are a necessity for constructive beliefs? Al three of these elements can be good or bad depending on people’s viewpoints. They however play no part in the creation of a quarrel. They are just different viewpoints.

What would be of interest here is whether there is still an underlying reason for people to stubbornly hold onto a belief whether it makes sense or not.

I think that a belief, what we here call a fixed opinion, has become fixed through the emotion of fear or uncertainty which is a lighter form of fear. Fear stems from the inability to accept reality. The inability to accept reality is the absolute rock bottom basic underlying all irrational thinking and therefore all of human misery. That is quite a bold statement I agree. So let’s put it through the test.

Let’s look at above example again. Joseph doesn’t want to live in a house were all the walls have a yellow color. He therefore cannot accept the opinion of his girlfriend. Why can’t he accept this? Well, he is afraid that he will feel uncomfortable in a house with yellow walls. That could be a reason. Another possibility could be that he is afraid that his girlfriend might have other opinions that could counter his own. What if she starts to dominate him if he gives in? Whatever reasons we can think of they are all based on fear. Fear that he has to accept reality as it is or might appear.

Shell we put this into yet another axiom?

Axiom nr. 5

The underlying cause of all human quarrels is the unwillingness to accept reality as it is.

Now we also know the solution to all quarrels. If one of the opposing parties accepts the others opinion a solution can be found. If both parties accept each other’s opinion an agreement is within reach.

Let us see how this works out in our example.

Josephine accepts the fact that Joseph can’t live in a house with yellow colored walls so she decides that she can live in a house were all walls are white and the case is closed.

Another possible option would then be that both Joseph and Josephine can accept each other’s opinion. Now they can discuss things and come to an agreement that is to both their satisfaction. The agreement could be something like having light yellow colored walls.

Of course the latter one is the preferred way of dealing with fixed opinions. Just make them less fixed by accepting them and an agreement is within reach.

What does it mean to accept someone’s opinion?

In this context it means that you don’t reject it. You don’t have to agree with it but you can accept that the other person thinks and feels that way. In that way you don’t generate emotions that will drag you and the other person down.

Let’s now take a deeper look into axiom nr. 2.

Axiom nr. 2

All fixed opinions remain fixed through emotion.

What is emotion?

I am not going to bother you with complicated explanations coming from scientists or psychologists. Let us keep it simple. Emotions are all the different feelings we generate from outside and inside stimuli. I am not saying that this is correct but let us see if we can work with this for the purpose of this article.

With inside stimuli I mean occurrences recorded in your mind. Your mind consists of past experiences and future considerations that can stimulate you to think, feel and act in a certain way.

Outside stimuli are all things that can trigger the content of your mind.

The problem we humans have with emotions is that they can become really strong. They can contain remarkable force, so much so that they can totally overwhelm our rationale way of thinking and acting.

And if that is not enough they also can become fixed just as opinions can. As touched upon earlier in this article, emotions are the glue that fixates your thoughts.

Emotions do not only manifest in your physical body but also in your energy bodies or etheric bodies that are located within and around your physical body.

For example emotions can block the different energy flows within your chakra’s and meridians and so cause imbalance. The etheric bodies or layers around your physical body are also called the aura.

Emotions within the aura can attract entities that have emotions with the same or similar frequencies then yours. The aura has an egg shape and can sometimes have openings in it.

When it is not fully closed entities with the same or similar frequencies can enter into your aura and give you trouble.

In extreme cases this is called possession. But it can happen as well in more subtle ways all depending on what your emotions attract. Why is this important to know? Well these attachments can amplify your feelings to a point where you seem to lose all control over them.

When you think this is happening with you it can be even more important to understand the axioms and principals discussed in this article.

It is all very well to know all this but what is the solution. Can we learn how to live together in harmony and peace? So let’s explore axiom nr. 3 again.

Axiom nr.3

All fixed opinions can be destabilized or become unfixed through attention, decision, intention, emotion and repetition.

To get yourself disentangled from unwanted emotional influence it is necessary that you let go of fixed opinions that generate these emotions in the first place.

Let’s get back to Joseph and Josephine to illustrate this.

Let’s assume this is their first serious argument and both are utterly unable to unfix their opinions. Due to this one disagreement new ones could form more easily and their quarrels could multiply to a point where they become unbearable and could make their relationship quite troublesome or even put an end to it.

Both Joseph and Josephine will have no clue as to what went wrong in their relationship. They will accuse each other making things only worse. Letting go of fixed opinions is no longer an option as emotions can overwhelm rational thinking and the underlying cause is not addressed. It doesn’t have to go this way but the potential is there.

Let’s look at axiom nr. 5 again

Axiom nr. 5

The underlying cause of all human quarrels is the unwillingness to accept reality as it is.

As stated before, this is not only the underlying cause of all human quarreling. It is the cause of all human misery. Can we go even deeper than that? Is there a reason underlying the unwillingness to accept reality as it is? I don’t think so. There is an additional factor that can have quite a negative influence when it comes to the willingness to accept reality as it is. This is the baggage we carry with us from our past unwillingness to accept reality.

This can weaken us to a point where we seem utterly unable to accept what is in front of us or a head of us. Do we have to clean up all this baggage in order to accept reality as it is? To clean up some garbage from the past can be an entrance point for people with too much emotional burden.

For the majority axiom nr. 3 will do just fine. In applying this axiom we will soon realize the power within us.

Axiom nr.3

All fixed opinions can be destabilized or become unfixed through attention, decision, intention, emotion and repetition.

What happens when you don’t apply this axiom? All instances of not wanting to accept reality will accumulate causing emotions to become more severe or more suppressed. It will also decrease your ability to accept similar realities. This will make you vulnerable. You will become very touchy and easy to hurt. It sure is a high way to hell.

To complicate things even further we tend to put things on automatic. As you may remember, in the second and third paragraph of this article I explained that mental programming occurs through intention, attention, emotion and repetition. Mental programming with intention at the receiving end we call learning. Mental programming without intention at the receiving end we call indoctrination.

We can be indoctrinated by others but we can also indoctrinate ourselves. When you keep telling yourself, with an emotion of sadness, that you are no good what do you think will happen? You form a mental program in the subconscious mind that will tell you that you are no good without your permission. You will think in certain instances that you are no good whether you want to think this or not.

These mental programs are much stronger than your logical mind. They have to be as they run 95 percent or more of all functions in your body and mind. But this doesn’t mean that mental programs cannot be destabilized or reprogrammed. However it is not a matter of just changing your mind. They are located within a mind that we are not aware of. But we can become aware of what the program manifests.

Let’s get back again to Joseph and Josephine to put this more in perspective.

Why can’t Joseph live in a house that has yellow walls? What makes this so difficult for him? Why can he not simply change his mind about it? Doesn’t this sound somewhat odd?

I think we can safely assume that, if we cannot change our mind even if we want to, a program within the subconscious mind is running the show. In case we cannot change our mind we can only hope that the person contradicting us is able to. If not we are in trouble and we will most probably involve others in it as well. The involvement of others can be a solution but it seldom is. In fact it can also complicate things even further.

Thus we are left with three possible options:

  1. Decide to change your mind. Only possible when there isn’t a mental program that would counter your decision.
  2. Hope that the one opposing you can change his/her mind.
  3. Have a third party decide what to do.

If you want to keep matters in your own hands but you seem unable to change your mind and accept things as they are applying axiom nr. 3 would be the right thing to do. It can save you lots of trouble and will definitely make you a better person.

Reprogramming your subconscious mind is not that hard to do. It will take some doing, that’s for sure but it can be done. There are many therapies you can find on the Internet that you can use to change unwanted programming. Most of them contain the following ingredients:

  • Attention
  • Decision
  • Intention
  • Emotion
  • Repetition

First you have to become aware of the fixed opinion. (attention) Then you have to decide that you want to change it. (decision) Then you have to be willing to repeat your new program with emotion enough times for it to overwrite the old program in your subconscious mind. (emotion and repetition)

That can take a while sometimes more than 30 days. There are faster methods. You can do some research on the Internet and find a therapy that works best for you.

I hope this article is of some benefit if you suffer from too much quarreling with your fellow man or woman.

2 thoughts on “Are fixed opinions at the root of all quarrels?

  1. Susana

    Enjoyed this article because it carefully illustrates how a person can go about recognizing their own “quarrels” and how to go about helping themselves..  
      Thank you for expressing the importance of getting to the bottom of each quarrel/trigger (yellow walls). Getting to know our own triggers can come easily IF your inner self-talk is kind/compassionate (again, be nice with your internal dialogue).  

    “Axiom nr.3
    All fixed opinions can be destabilized or become unfixed through attention, decision, intention, emotion and repetition.” —–> Repetition for new neural pathways is a scientific fact!

    Can you  give more detail about how you came to this conclusion?
    “Children up to about the age of 7 have no intention nor ability to evaluate what comes in. ”
    I question this because my belief differs for each organism’s circumstances.   

    Thank you!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.